e n c k e (
youfallinline) wrote in
startcountdown2014-04-09 06:59 pm
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"Now, what I want to know is," he gives by way of greeting, catching hold of Keeler's lapels as soon as his navigator commits the indiscretion of allowing him entry to his private cabin, "whose cock do I gotta suck to get assigned here?"
A brow is raised incredulously, automatic doors close snap closed behind him, and Encke kisses his navi at long and at fucking last, the pleasant buzz of half of an original wine bottle transferring between their tongues, deeper from Keeler's plump lips somehow, richer and depraved.
It's hard work on a good day, shoving a gorgeous man against a plush-laden wall and abusing the inside of his tender mouth without meting misfortune on your trousers; and it's damn well unreasonable, when they're arguing against the stiff limitations of their ceremonial uniforms, and each time Encke's gloved fingers fly into precious, pale hair, they connect with the honourary decorations on Keeler's shoulders; and it's overall vile, when there're now six layers of clothing between them, rather than the far friendlier two. It's all a mess, yes, but Encke's never not risen to the occasion, and this day (night by now, he has to remember, they've whiled over eight hours in a bloody battle room) won't see him start any bad habits.
Keeler's an old one by now, aged over the three weeks since their encounter, both saving grace and poison. Their - 'relationship's still tentative, a rocky road gone occasionally paved by natural chemistry and underlying good intentions. They share a bed and a bird and the best damned sync on their plague of a ship, and physical bonds largely innocent of any overture past kissing, a choice few gropes and careful insinuation. Doesn't matter: Encke wants him. Wants Keeler weak or strong, biting or mewling, willing and committed, and with his own thoughts clear.
Wants him enough that when the summons came to rendez-vous on the luxury carrier Proxima with the fleet's elite for an intel and tactical exchange, Encke's first worry didn't go to the brass, who ever do love wasting his damned time, or to his second-in-command, who'll need a raise after covering solo for 72 hours, or to their inevitable welcome committee among their peers, who hold battle-worn Sleipnir officers in the same regard as blockbuster action heroes and mythical beasts. No, Encke groaned because after all the shuttling and the meetings and the wining and the dining, they all got the rare privilege of private quarters.
...like hell. Like hell, when half the tactical group members drooled the carrier a new humidity reservoir after looking over Keeler. As far as Encke can tell, the day's best intelligence decision involved him crowding his navi in Keeler's quarters and letting the hell of unhinged self-restraint loose after hours and hours of Spartan discipline and unmoving attention.
And food porn. He can't forget the food porn.
"Those were real peaches on the platter. And they've got women, Keeler. I saw a fucking skirt." And wide hips and a wasp's waist and a fine, fine set of - he kisses his navi again, hard, eager and definitive, leaving his silent mark. Fine set of everything, and he's got better in his arms right now. "Welcome to the Proxima, sweetheart."
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Like how to welcome it up the ass real nice, sobs swallowed after you take a bruising. How to bleed without letting your agony become someone else's problem. How to answer gropes and tooth loss with 'please' and 'thank you's. How to lose yourself.
Still, the last hour saw no mental blocks Encke could discern, no kicks and screams, no resigned whimpers; and a quick mental review of one of the better hours in Encke's sweet, sweet life reveals nothing in Keeler's demeanour to suggest scarring hardship. Maybe posh places get the subtle abusers. And maybe somehow, this lovely, sheer gift of a human being coasted through. Just maybe. Encke can work with ugly odds.
And he can work up Keeler while he's at it, aiming a tragically afflicted glance his navigator's way and sighing with aplomb. "...was all right. You know." His shrug unsettles the thick covers, raises them half an inch. "Nothing special. Maybe if you'd have worn that skirt."
That skirt, nice and red, the perfect pop of ruthless colour against Keeler's unforgiving pallor. Encke's thinking of just the one.
He nods to urge Keeler on: lullaby time, big boys need the full story. "And then you joined the fleet, and no one tried to get you - interested?"
Look at Keeler. This sweet, fucking gorgeous morsel, just calling for a mean old bloke to sweep in for a bite. Look at him. Unless Keeler's whole string of exes stands a regiment of blind fighters, unless every navi who's shared a battle school class or dorm room with him swore a vow of chastity, unless every God damned superior officer considered the path of virtue - unless all the world's exceptions somehow applied at once, someone must've tried to tumble Keeler in his bed.
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What makes Encke different? What makes him the exception to the general rule? Even after weeks of castigating himself over it, Keeler hasn't reached a satisfactory conclusion.
But there's comfort in Encke's arms, rare happiness in the wake of their sardonic exchanges. Keeler's fingertips trace the wave of Encke's collar bone and then down, to idly trail between the hard cut of muscles that are far more distracting than they've any right to be, and for the first time in years, Keeler feels content. Comfortable, warm, at ease and unconcerned. No small feat, considering his tendency toward anxiety. Perhaps that contentment -- that happiness -- is the only reason he needs.
"That kind of thing didn't really matter to me, after I joined." Keeler murmurs, and then -- without warning -- delivers Encke a sharp bite to his shoulder. "But if it's just all right, I can go back to celibacy. If you'd prefer."
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That won't do, now.
That won't do at all.
No, no. Encke hisses - who the hell wouldn't - then he plots revenge. He's lessoned under the best of them on this, withstood the conjugal comedy of his mother's wayward pet cat, which, in its silver age, was joined by a pup. The dog bore through hostilities, took it all in play, loved his best friend for fucking ever, the grumpiest feline that ever did live. Hell, the stupid mutt would even wag his tail for more, after all the clawing. And then the inevitable happened: the dog upgraded from palm-size to rhinoceros proportions, and where Encke had cast his silent calls that he'd slaughter next time so much as one claw peered his way, dear Fido had a better solution to end the conflict.
He still loved the cat, you see. So, whenever it'd try to bit, or snap, or raised so much as a paw, the dog wouldn't oppress, wouldn't chase, wouldn't even bark.
...he'd sit on her. Lay most, but not all of his weight, and pin her down, til the bloody cat's temper waned and gave way to the inevitable surrender. You don't mess with something twice your size, after all.
Maybe Keeler needs that reminder of casual jungle rules; obligingly, Encke wraps his arms around the navi's twig of a waist,, then slowly rolls both of them over, until he's got Keeler beneath him again, defenceless and immobile.
"Now, what?" he teases lightly, eyebrow arched in slightly condescending rise.
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But Encke fails to see the inherent flaw in his own plan. The way -- stretched out over Keeler as he is -- that he's opened himself up at the neck for a bruised retribution. Because Keeler's more viper than cat, and the sooner Encke learns that, the better off he'll be. Unlike that cat, Keeler doesn't shy. Rather, his arms and legs all wind long and warm around Encke's weight, and he buries his face in the crook of the fighter's neck. Vengeful teeth find the tender flesh there, bearing down to precursor a quiet growl and a firm drag. No aim to bruise, but no aim to abstain from such either.
Vindictive little bitch of a navigator, despite all efforts to the contrary. And Encke deserves every taunt and tease that's delivered him.
"No idea what you've gotten yourself into, do you?" Keeler asks through the clench of teeth around Encke's skin, through the breathlessness of the weight upon his chest. "Not a damn clue."
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"- bitch," he snarls, teeth pulled, lips thinned. The burn of the bite spreads like lightning, scrawny and crisp, fractured at its extremities. He laughs with the exhale of a breath too long held. "Son of a bitch."
Keep it up, and the first thing out of Encke's mouth when he meets Keeler's momma's gonna have to be one hell of a well-tailored apology. She might like the hear her pretty boy talk first, see her son play the fleet tough guy - and fail, miserably, whenever Keeler's sterling spoiled scion pronunciation twists cussing into caricature.
It's kind of funny how navis think they've got it in them to rouse hostilities, or - cute, Keeler; real cute - head straight for the jugular.
...or withstand strands of strain. He can feel it, the residue-turning-prominence of tension that sheaths Keeler's body, the barely perceptible rise and fall of his chest, as breath organically tempers in response to Encke's weight. Muttering, he concedes first, turns them over again until the pale leech draining him down's nice and cosily perched atop Encke, rather than squashed beneath him. He's not letting Keeler off this quick - not, the sharp pulse of pain on his neck warns, after this stunt - but the only discomfort he wants to greet kindly in his bed involves delayed gratification and saccharine navi mewls.
Heavy fingers catch Keeler at the neck, firm and unrelenting in silent reminder, before sweetening into a caress of the white-cased scalp. "Yeah?" A chuckle. "Why don't you brief me, then, navigator. What am I dealing with?"
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That, as far as Keeler is concerned, should be explanation enough. You're dealing with him. You're dealing with the prodigal son of the navigators, the cream of the bloodstained, war-mongering crop. You're dealing with the alpha of the omegas. You're dealing with a man who can take apart a fragile mind just as easily as he disassembles a maintenance bot, and that in and of itself should be terrifying. But Encke doesn't seem to have a healthy respect for anything, far less the inherent strength of the man in his arms. A healthy respect would require him to recognize the inherent danger with which he's fallen to bed, and he's unwilling to give Keeler even the most doubtful of benefits.
But it's fine. As far as Keeler's concerned, he can go on believing his navigator's helpless. It'll make his moment of realization that much more keen.
"Did I bruise you?" Keeler mocks a pout, faux empathy, and leans down over Encke's shoulder to kiss away the lingering wetness from his own mouth. "I'm sorry, baby. Maybe you should be more careful where you bare your throat."
Keeler's hands stray once more, smoothing across Encke's chest, tracing his muscles in a manner almost pious. It doesn't occur to him that statement could be taken metaphorically. He's not about to break Encke's mind, though perhaps he's doing a fine enough job of that without even trying.
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It's hot and cold, fresh and old.
This whole face-heel turning's getting old, Keeler lashing out as if he hates himself when he's around something good. As if he hates Encke for trying to give it.
"...yeah," he says emptily, stupidly, more to fill the silence than contribute to whatever storm's brewing inside Keeler's pretty little head. 'Bare his throat'. Give him a break. Give this whole damned thing a break.
There's stiffness when he starts bringing himself up to sit, more in his neck; he dispels it with a quick rub, then passes the back of his hand over his cheek, knuckles strong against his eye.
"Should... should head out." To his cabin, where they had bloody well better had been just as generous with the mini-bar stocking. "Need a shower."
And a cigarette.
And a few seconds to breathe.
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But they've just finished. But Encke's slept in the same bed with Keeler for the past few weeks. But Encke's warm and comfortable and -- by this point -- familiar enough to lull Keeler to sleep when nothing else can. But Encke had promised a night of utter debauchery that he's tapping out of in the first round. But Keeler wants him to stay, and why the fuck would he leave?
Keeler stares. Words of protest die in his throat, and Encke can veritably see the walls reconstructing themselves behind his eyes. It was a joke. It was a fucking joke, and Encke is shoving his way out of bed. If Keeler threw this sort of tantrum every time Encke poked fun at him, they'd be back to separate bunks and a forcibly polar schedule. Perhaps they would be anyway, after tonight. Every inch of separation is a brick, every word out of Encke's mouth is mortar, and stockades are far too easy for Keeler to construct.
Conquest. Even Keeler's own mind is accusatory. That's it. That's the only explanation that makes any goddamned sense. Three weeks of a feigned relationship seems an awful lot of trouble to go through, particularly for something that -- with his rank and his body -- Encke could have gotten anywhere. But perhaps that wasn't what Encke was after. Perhaps this was all some power play on the fighter's part; a game of domination and mastery. Perhaps ripping Keeler's heart out was merely the insult to the injury.
And just like that, it was all a mistake from the start.
Keeler swallows hard and offers a smile, leans up to press another kiss to Encke's shoulder. Fine. If that's what he wants, if he needs to believe he's won -- he conquered -- then so be it. Keeler isn't going to feed into this ego struggle any more than he already has. There are a million little tasks setting themselves into place now; how to separate himself again, how to physically and emotionally distance himself without damaging their professional relationship, how to ensure it doesn't happen in the future. It starts now, with Keeler pulling the blankets over his shoulder, and rolling onto his side with his back to Encke.
"Alright," the acceptance is easy and even. "Sleep well."
no subject
His second mistake was ignoring a classical flight before fight scenario, delaying until he could not only estimate, but witness hard damage, the way Keeler licks his wounds with the silent pride reserved for captains who decide to go down with their ship.
And his third mistake was assuming at any time, at any point, that Keeler is anything but a brilliant emotional amputee, who borrows control by osmosis and exercises strategy as a desperate measure against getting hurt.
That's three errors, counted - counted again, as Encke wastes away minutes, on the brink of leaving his seat at the edge of the bed, but never quite prevailing - and they're three more than he can afford. His hand reaches out to offer lies and comfort, to dig out the traces of Keeler's fine hair between onion layers of organic cotton; it falls, disoriented in empty retreat, eluding contact.
He needs his downtime, there are too many implications between them for Keeler to give them, and now, breathing uneven, he's stuck claustrophobically between two equally bad calls. The burn in his chest stings, spreads, and he exhales through it, keeps it in check. He needs a cigarette. He needs whatever interval of time and thoughtlessness tobacco and tolerable vice can provide. He needs -
"Keeler," he says softly, slow to rise and face the lines of the man who's now 'officially' his lover and his owner and his victim. The sheets slip beneath his bent knee with comic perseverance when he leans down and - finally, awkwardly - collects Keeler and his train of blankets like a bride bereft, one hand secure beneath the soft inside of his navi's legs, while the other struggles to support a thin back without bruising it. Maybe there's some use to Keeler's flimsy frame, because Encke can damn well carry him like this the entire span of this monster-cruiser, let alone the short distance to the suite bathroom.
"Sorry." And there's the conceit of debate on whether he's apologising for disturbing Keeler's beauty sleep, or his whole fucking life for the past three weeks. "That should have been a proper invitation."
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There are worse things in the world, after all. It's hardly a chore to be in Encke's arms, even when he's suddenly and inexplicably down to his last nerve. He shouldn't be. After all, it was merely assumption and conjecture that Encke would be staying after their tryst; an assumption supported not merely by evidence, but by Encke's own words, granted. But assumption nevertheless. Is Keeler so entitled now, that he would hold that against Encke?
No. Some things are merely second-nature. Staying the night after your partner deigned to break his six-year celibacy for you is one of them.
Still, with a soft sigh, Keeler's arms wind around Encke's shoulders as he's carried to the bathroom. Even if this is just a desperate maneuver to cover his ass, Keeler can excuse it. Because excusing transgressions, at this juncture, is easier far easier than establishing that distance again.
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Plain fatigue's the conventional fault in these arrangements: a good fuck takes its toll. But then, Keeler's manned a ship's tactical department for forty hours of duty without sizeable strain, and however highly Encke might want to rate the night's performance, a tumble between luxury sheets can't mete anything close to service exhaustion.
He opens his mouth to say (anything) something, but reaches the bathroom threshold, and then manoeuvring the door without upsetting Keeler's balance gives him enough of an excuse for delay. For a moment, he almost forgives himself that, single-mindedly focused on carving their path without letting the unexpected dimness blind him. The bathroom's all a cream beast, well-worked tile, if not marble, and a fragile shower of warm light that went introduced more, Encke can wager, for atmosphere than practicality. It's all so wretchedly romantic, from the discreet petal bowls and candles littered with largesse, to the inviting curves of the large bath tub on display. An altar for pathetic, desperate men to bring their borrowed whores and bill off "love", but he'll take it tonight, as he sets Keeler on the tub rim and toys with the water dials that'll draw their bath. Encke'll take it and be damn well happy.
"Always thought to hit up law school when I'm out of here," he murmurs absent-mindedly, letting fingers dip and twirl in the pooling water, as he takes inventory of the bath salts on the nearby shelf display. When he's out of the war, not if. Not in Encke's wonderland.
"Martial prosecution pays enough for the hassle." And will conveniently red carpet its entry for a retired senior officer with medals and stripes.
His hand stops briefly over the lavender infusion, tipping enough of the substance in to summon a fury of bubbles and the inevitably chemical waft. Good. Acceptable.He nods, briefly satisfied, and gives the edge of the tub the obligatory wistful pat to signal his approval. "And the first cheque's reserved for one of these beauties."
Then the pleasantries are over, a moment's peace bought at the price of practical concerns, both now depleted. Dark, dead eyes hunt down Keeler's watery glance.
His voice is butter before the knife, heated and smooth. "Should practise, if we want to break it in together."
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Now he's meant to plan a future after. Now there's actually some minute chance of survival, some hope that he'll survive every impossible battle, that he'll get his new heart, that he can live. That he can live with Encke.
And that hope is such a fragile, painful, hateful thing.
"You'd make a good lawyer," Keeler agrees with a smile. "Didn't figure you as a 'nice, hot bath' type, though. Just full of surprises."
Keeler slips down into the water with a sigh, and one dip beneath the surface has his silvery hair a soaked mass sliding down his back.
"Come on. Get in here, and I'll give you that back rub."
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That's enough to get a man melting, and he concedes the point to his knees, when he lazily comes down on them, the cold hit of the tiles an aggressive reminder that this is bloody marble that will be denting his skin, and his sorry ass had better not forget it. He won't. He won't forget a thing about this moment, Keeler sprawling like a galactic mermaid, some cross between the remnants of a childhood fairytale and perverted possibility. Content. Keeler, content.
"Nah. I want to look at you a little," Encke manages late, and leans to rest an arm over the tub's rim, and his heavy head upon it. Good angle, lazy vantage - and when he reaches just so, he can still kiss the curve of a shoulder, the fine line of Keeler's neck, the tip of a perked ear.
Fingers wade through water idly, sending foam Keeler's way until, finally, Encke salvages a floating sponge, lifts it within view to signal the beginning of a far overdue scrubbing.
"Just lie back and tell me how to spoil you a little." Because God knows he can't get to often enough, not with half the ship vying for Keeler's attention, and some exit port or reactor winning exclusivity.